I recently heard someone refer to those special moments we as believers share with God when we know He is speaking to us through noticeable, and many times, tangible things in our daily lives as a “God wink”. Last year, a dear friend of mine found a silver bow in a parking lot during a time in her marriage when she and her husband were meticulously going over their life together, thus far, to share with others in a testimony. Needless to say, it was a heavy task. She was very touched by another couple’s marriage testimony who closed with the statement that their story was not tied up in a neat bow. She felt that was true of her marriage as well. Silver was the color she had chosen for her wedding years before and she felt the Lord was giving her this bow to keep as a reminder of this time. A “God wink”. I know I’ve had lots of these but today was a particularly sweet one.
Back in March of 2017, my life was undergoing a massive change. My youngest had turned 12 in December and my oldest, almost 19, was graduating high school that May. They way they need me was changing forever. What in the WORLD was I going to do with my time?! I felt a strong pull to dive deep into understanding my Lord; to give all that extra time to Him, let Him guide it. I started with prayer and eventually He laid in on my heart to really study the scriptures and to start with Romans. It’s been an incredible journey with ups and downs, victories and frustrations, but I’ve grown and learned and most importantly……changed. Lately, when I pray and study scripture, I listen to a beautiful song by the group 2Cellos. The song is titled “Benedictus”. Today I was stopped by the thought, “What does Benedictus mean?” The music feels so appropriate for the time we share. It doesn’t distract at all but moves with our fellowship perfectly. Well, Benedictus means, or more accurately, is, “1. an invocation begging ‘Benedictus qui venti in nomine Domini‘ (Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord) Matthew 21:9. 2. A canticle beginning ‘Benedictus Dominus Deus’ (Blessed be the Lord God) from Luke 1:68-79.” Ok, but what is an invocation and a canticle? Invocation, “the act or process of petitioning for help or support, specifically, often capitalized: a prayer of entreaty (as at the beginning of a service of worship). Canticle, “SONG; specifically, one of several liturgical songs (such as the Magnificant) taken from the Bible.” So, it’s a prayer, song! A song for prayer! God wink! What a sweet, kind and gracious confirmation that He’s been guiding my steps down to the last detail all these months! Truly, I can play this song on a loop and not tire of it. It’s that beautiful!
I have come to KNOW that He cares about EVERY aspect of my life, of who I am. My likes, dislikes, needs, desires, dreams, struggles and VICTORIES. How often do I share joy with Him?! It seems so much more common to come to Him in my pain, fear, trials and struggles, but that’s only one part of the relationship. Can you imagine your husband, wife, children, family, and friends ONLY coming to you in those heavy life moments? He revealed to me that I’d been keeping joy, celebration and outright fun segregated from our overall fellowship. Do I dance with Him in the triumphs HE brings me to? Do I laugh with Him in the fun HE blesses me with? I confess, there was this strange idea that it wasn’t reverent, or dignified to do so. I think this is a more serious lie from the enemy than it seems. The verse Matthew 21:9 “Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord” is being shouted in a triumphant celebration as Jesus entered Jerusalem surrounded on all side by these worshipers. These people got it! He showed me I was pouring out only the hard things to Him but when the good times came I was saying, “Thanks Father! Oooooh, I am so guhratefuuul! I’m gonna go have fun now. See ya when it’s hard again!” I can be very intentional with bringing Him my struggles, but what about bringing Him my joy? I pray to grow in the truth of this. Today I rejoiced with Him in the truly miraculous, intricate detail He revealed to me. He didn’t have to, and He would still be just as worthy of my adoration and worship, still ultimately right and good if He hadn’t, but He gave me that thought to ask about the meaning of the name of this beautiful song and in doing so, spoke a message loud and clear that I’ve been asking to unmistakably hear, “I love you, Emily.”